Seeing your trials for what they are~ Mommy Moments

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A few months ago I told you about some of my medical challenges,  tests showed that I may have a brain tumor and then it looked like thyroid cancer. I have had  many of you email me and ask how we are doing and if I had any updates. The answer was always more tests and still waiting.  Lots and lots of waiting and more trips to the doctor.  All the details are not important  but to make a LONG story short I had 7 spots on my thyroid, we did a nuclear scan which showed 6 of those spots where  nothing to worry about at this time.  The one large spot showed up “hot” and so more testing needed to be done.    We did a needle biopsy on the large spot (where they jab your neck with 7 different needles and try and suck out tissue… and you have to lay on a table and act like you are ok with it.  But what you really feel like doing is screaming and running out of the room).  Once we were done I told the Doctor to watch out because when he turned around I was going to jab him in the back side with a needle, and see how well he liked it (which he chuckled about)… Humor always seems to make stressful situations a little easier for me to handle.

I finally got my results back and the needle biopsy came back negative for cancer.  But due to my family history of thyroid cancer, and history of negative biopsy’s that then turn  out to be cancer once surgery is done.  My Doctor has recommended that I continue to watch it very closely and  he recommends to have it taken out as well.   How soon will I have it out… I do not know.  When my sister went thru this  I thought she was NUTS for not having it out right away.  BUT now that I am in her shoes, and it is my body ( I am not in any rush to loose any of my body parts) I look at things a little different.  A firm reminder that you should never judge someone when you are not in their shoes.  I am not sure what the right answer is for me or what to do next… I will continue to pray and ask for direction as to what is best for me.

Going thru this the last 6 months has not always been easy.  Some days I was angry, while other days I was sad, confused, overwhelmed.  But I also found I had strength I did not know I had.  Or I guess at least that I forgot I had.  I found myself looking to that 10 year old girl  that found the same strength so many years ago.  I also found myself being SO GRATEFUL that it was me going thru this not one of my children. One day I was doing dishes in my kitchen irritated that I was going thru all this having a “why me” moment.  When almost like a warm blanket being wrapped around me I realized HOW BLESSED I am, I can handle this, I CAN overcome this.  When so many others are facing things SO MUCH worse, I needed to be grateful, be happy, and acknowledge  just how blessed I am.  This is just a bump in the road,  it will make me stronger.  I kept thinking my Mom did this, My Aunt did this, I can do it too… And I hope that someday my kids when facing life’s ”bumps” in the road will be able to look back and say “My Mom got thru this, so I can do it too”

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