Happy to report a “thumbs up” and all looks good for another 4 months with Matthews heart. These appointments are always hard for me as I am always worried it will be bad news. Feeling blessed and so grateful for everyday the lords gives us with our miracle boy.
Every night before my head hits the pillow I go to check on my kids and make sure they are ok. But as I enter my oldest sons room each night I can not help but hold my breath and say a quick silent prayed to my Father in Heaven that he will be ok. That his heart will be strong, that he will grant us one more day with this miracle of a boy, that we get to call our son.
We have been very lucky and the last 5-6 years he has been rather healthy, and beside a few hospital stays and seizures his heart has been strong. Living each day with only half a heart and proving to the world that miracles happen. To many those weeks even months in the hospital for the first 4 years of his life getting him well, are just a memory…. but not for me. Not for this Mom, not a day passes where I do not thank the Lord for him, and plead (some days more than others) for the understanding and knowledge of how to teach him, how to care for him. But most important pray that he can be healthy.
We went in for his 4 month check up, to check his heart again. I put on my brave face, hold his hand maybe even skip thru the parking lot with him. But inside I am a mess, I want to crawl into a ball and cry my eyes out. Terrified this might be the appointment when we get the news that his heart can no longer keep up. The news that in order to keep our son alive he must receive the life saving gift from another… a heart transplant. But I can not let that show on my face, I have to be strong.
This week Matthew had his routine echo and heart check up. He gives the Doctor a high 5 and climbs onto the table to have an echo-cardiogram done. I hold his hand as I have always done…. but this time I looked down at him, my sweet baby boy and I see something different. He is still small, he will never be large do to his heart…. But I saw a glimpse of the young man I dreamed and prayed he would be able to become. My baby boy is growing into a man, and for any Mom that is an amazing site… but for me it is simply breath taking.
My sweet handsome boy at just one month old, after his first two major heart surgeries and 3 1/2 weeks in the hospital.
You can read more about Matthew and being Hypoplastic Left heart here under I’m A Heart Mom.
What is a Mommy Moment, click here