The text that made me think about never blogging again….

10/08/2012 4:00 pm · 26 comments

by Sarah A Thrifty Mom

This weekend I thought about never blogging again… all it took was one text and being far away from home.

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Last year I shared a story and video with you about Mia. A radiant little girl with golden curls, simply beautiful. Mia was born needing a heart transplant to survive. She was given that amazing gift thanks to the selfless sacrifice of another. A few days ago we shared an update with you on our facebook page.  I did not know many of the details only that Mia was back in the hospital. Mia was on a Make A Wish trip to Disney World in Florida when she took a turn for the worse. Instead of spending her week with Minnie Mouse she was now hooked up to life support.

I have been at a conference in Georgia and hearing this news while away from my family really tugged at my heart. But I went along with my activities as normal. I was getting ready to start my last to class, they were playing upbeat music and my friends and I were dancing next to our laptops. Jumping and laughing, just being silly and dancing “as if” we actually had rhythm. I got a text thinking it was one of my friends asking what class I was in, or telling me my dancing skills were “the bomb”. I pulled my phone out to a see a text from my husband that  read:

Just got word that Mia the little girl with transplant failure is brain dead, from lack of oxygen when her heart stopped, the donors Mother is coming to see her for the first time. She was suppose to see her for the first time next month. The Doctors told her Dad John there is not hope for improvement. All we can do is pray for a miracle.

I read it… I just froze. I read it again my hands began to tremble and I was just over come with emotion. My friends were looking at me, all I could do was hand them the phone … there is nothing to say in a moment like that. I have never even met Mia but that did not matter… she was a heart baby and that alone made her part of my family. It took me right back to the days and months we spent in the hospital with my son while trying to get him well. To many times I had to watch families say goodbye to there sweet little ones. I have been able to bury those emotions, but they all came back and just consumed me.

With hands trembling I could not even find the words to text back… I went into the hall to try and pull myself together. I sat on the floor, I was numb I just stared down the hallway. This is one of my greatest fears since my son was born missing half his heart and each day is a gift. I went to my room, where I could let the tears flow freely. I fell to my knees in prayer, as much as my own heart was aching and I was overcome with emotion I knew that my heartache was nothing compared to what Mia’s parents must feel.

Shortly after that Mia’s Mom updated their page:

“Heaven will soon be sweeter. Our precious daughter Mia will be reunited with her donor tomorrow after she is taken off life support. We are devastated and wish this was not happening. It all seems like a terrible nightmare. We will be sad for a very long time, and will miss her everyday. She was the happiest, sweetest little girl, and there will be a hole in all of our hearts. The children are very sad and just want her to wake up. We are in agony and are trying to hold it together for sake of our other children. We are so thankful for all of your love and support and have truly felt it. The pain is too much for my soul, but your prayers are being felt.”

I did not sleep at all that night, I caught a taxi at 4:45 am and had a long 6+ hour plane trip home.  My heart was aching and my arms were empty, I needed my family and they were thousands of miles away.  Once on the plane I pulled my hat down low to cover my eyes and silently sobbed the whole way home.  Once I finally got home I just snuggled my babies all afternoon, and even climbed into bed that night with my son Matthew (age 10).  He asked me why I was “squeezing” him so much and I just said ” Because Mommies arms have been empty and it makes my heart happy to hold you”.

He feel asleep and it was time for me to start blogging, reading emails, and finding deals.  I have had 48 hours to try and wrap my brain around what just happened. I have been in constant prayer asking for direction  and I have honestly thought about never blogging again… I just want to spend every second I have with my family. I do not want to live in fear, but I do not want to regret my choices either.  BUT then a quite peace came over me and I remembered WHY I started this blog 4 years ago.  It was to help others,  to pay it forward to other “heart moms” that loved me and took care of  me in my darkest hour.  Being a Mother to a child with a heart problem can be a very lonely and scary place.  But thru the strength of others I was able to make it.

I realized I have a large platform thanks to my blog.  Sure we talk about deals, but I have always said “Mom first, Thrifty Mom second”. I enjoy saving money but my family is my PASSION that is where my true happiness comes from.  I am here to let EVERY HEART MOM know you are not alone!  It is not easy in fact some days it seems nearly impossible to get through.  But because of that we celebrate and thank the Lord for EVERY DAY we are given with our children.  Each day is a gift, and sweet little Mia reminded us all of that.

My new goal is to start  bringing you more stories about being a Heart Mom and organ donation. Did you know that 35,000 infants (1 out of every 125) will be born with heart defects each year in the United States.  So when the rain clouds come to some of you and you find out your precious little one has a “special heart” you will know you are not alone!

 If you can please think about making a donation to help Mia’s Family, no amount is to small.

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 What is a  Mommy Moment, click here

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24 comments
Lisa
Lisa

Please know that you are doing amazing work...as a blogger finding great deals, sure, but also as a wife, mother, woman of faith.  Sharing your life with us is encouraging, challenging and sometimes convicting :)  But know that sharing stories with us like Mia's, allows the prayer chain to continue and gives us an opportunity to pray for her and for comfort and peace on her parents' behalf.

Martha
Martha

Sarah, I am so sorry for the heartache you are and will be going through.   I know from experience that this heartbreak is so  real and so strong even when you have never met the people involved in person.   Thank you for your continued help through your site.    

Kelly C2
Kelly C2 like.author.displayName 1 Like

Sarah and of course Matt. This is why you are awesome. You are mom first, Thrifty Mom second. While I realize that this story is about Mias family but your honesty and heartfelt blog post is so appreciated. So many times blogs are impersonal. Not A Thrifty Mom! This is what make you GREAT! You are strong believers in giving back and thinking of others. You care so much about people. This is what sets you apart, yes from other bloggers but also from people. Sarah and Matt you are amazing people. You touch so many lives, not just with saving but in what you do here, be it a heartfelt story like this or a craft, a recipe etc.

Katie
Katie

I am a fellow heart momma as well.  My daughter is four and we have had a bumpy road, with some pretty big bumps, and unfortunately more bumps to come.  All our warriors fight so hard and our  community is so close and very special and dear. When I heard of Mia' turn, my heart just broke and it keeps breaking and breaking. I wish I could take the pain and hurt away from them.  I wish the outcome for Mia was different and that she could grow into a lovely young woman with her own children.   I just can't wrap my mind around it. I know the Lord will welcome her home with open arms, but my heart is broken for her family who will miss her terribly.  She touched so many of us and her legacy will continue to live.  Heart Hugs to you and your son!  

athriftymom
athriftymom moderator

Katie I to was hoping for a happy ending... and a miracle... But her life WAS just that.  She was given a 2nd chance and lived 4 more years thanks to a miracle.  They said they were trying to donate any organs she could to save others.... I guess it was time for her to save so many others... but that still does not take the pain I feel away.  Or the pain for those who loved her!!!  Best of luck with your little one!

Michelle
Michelle

We moms need these reminders once in a while to just stop and love, hug, and enjoy our children because you never know how much longer you have them.  I appreciate you sharing this, so that I can pray for her family and also just stop and appreciate today with my kids.  I'm glad you aren't quitting blogging either, but mostly because it seems like something you truly enjoy and has blessed your family.  I know it is a ton of work.  Good for you for remembering that you are mom first before Thrifty Mom. :)

carlamatheson
carlamatheson

Just heartbreaking!  I have lost a child to unknown causes.  She was two days old.  My heart and prayers go out to Mia's family and especially to her parents, as her loss is devastating. The pain from losing a child is one that never really goes away.  I look for the day I will be reunited with my baby girl Emily.

JaneyO
JaneyO

I used to go to MOPS with Mia's mom, Mimi. And, though I moved a few states away, I have watched her grow through updates on the internet. Like you, I was stunned with this news. It is simply heartbreaking. My prayers are with them. Thank you for what you are doing through your blog. 

athriftymom
athriftymom moderator

 @JaneyO I am glad she had 3 healthy years but it does make hearing the news, and how fast it all happened VERY hard!  What a beautiful girl she was!

Latest blog post: empty hall

Tara J
Tara J like.author.displayName 1 Like

I have seen the pain in my mom's eyes even though many years have past. My brother was born with a hole in his heart many years before I was born. He died in the hospital when he was 2 days old. That pain never goes away, it just becomes easier to live with. I am not an emotional person either, but when it comes to children it's a different story. Give Matthew an extra big hug :) I'm very happy you decided against quitting blogging. I appreciate everything you do and you do not go unnoticed!

Tara J
Tara J like.author.displayName 1 Like

I have been thinking about this family all weekend. My heart is broken and many tears have fallen for a family that I will never meet, but as a mother of two very precious daughters it just hits that spot. My thoughts and prayers are with this family as they try and mend their broken hearts and find peace to heal. This precious little Mia is now an angel in heaven and she can now watch over her family.

athriftymom
athriftymom moderator

 @Tara J I know her special spirit has touched thousands, I am not even an emotional person but have just been over come with emotion with all of this. 

Latest blog post: empty hall

Pamelap
Pamelap

My heart and prayers to Mia's family.  Thank you so much for all the hard work you do on your blog!!

athriftymom
athriftymom moderator

 @Pamelap Thank you, and thanks for reading our site.  Mia has touched us all, what a special girl she is! 

Latest blog post: empty hall

MeganCasto
MeganCasto

Tears in my eyes...losing a child is a grief that I can't even comprehend and never want to experience. There is no way to understand it ... why God calls them home so soon is beyond me but truly she is in heaven. I appreciate your blog and all the work you do!

athriftymom
athriftymom moderator

 @MeganCasto Thank you, Remember to keep Mia's family in your prayers they will need all the support they can.

Latest blog post: empty hall

Tonya B
Tonya B

I was so sorry to hear this news. It is heartbreaking. My thoughts & prayers are with Mia's family. I know Mia is in a better place now & she will never have to suffer again. I know that doesn't ease the pain for her parents though.

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