How to get out of a speeding ticket….
I am a rule follower, I always have been. I like to try and do what I am asked and strive to live by the standards I set for myself. Even as a little girl I hated to get into trouble. When I was 18 I was driving home from work following a long line of traffic when I saw the lights flashing behind me. I looked down to see I was going 39 miles an hour… 4 miles over the speed limit.
I thought NO WAY was I going to get a ticket for 4 dinky miles. Plus in the movies all the “young pretty girls” always get out of tickets by simply batting their eyelashes, and showing a little cleavage. Well since I don’t have any cleavage to show I was out of luck there. And my “being pretty” skills were a total fail too, before I could even speak he was glaring at me “Mr. Mustache Policeman” was a cranky old soul. Evidently the movies are NOT always correct and he scolded me for speeding, and promptly wrote me a ticket and made me feel like a total criminal. I wanted to cry!
Fast forward 14 years, this week I was meeting with a friend and she was late… when she got there she was upset and told me she just got a ticket for speeding. She was not upset about the ticket so much, but more about how rude the officer was, and how she was treated. On my way home I looked in my rear view mirror only to see flashing lights….
You have got to be kidding me…. I looked down I was not speeding so why the heck did I get pulled over? Well if a young pretty girls in a red dress gets a ticket… then you better believe this 32 year old Mama of 4, in a beat up old mini van had no chance of getting out of a ticket either. So I was going to be polite and just take my ticket and get on with my day. Only question was… why did I get pulled over?
I made a choice to just smile, praying to get out of a ticket was useless… but praying for a NICE POLICE MAN that did not scold me and make me feel like a criminal, was something I could do. I rolled down my window and put my hands on the wheel so Mr. Policeman could see my hands (I didn’t want to appear to have any weapons or something). But for some reason doing this made me giggle… all of a sudden I was totally awkward in my own car. I did not know where to put my own hands, but I was terrified to move them or make any sudden movement …. cause I didn’t want to end up on the next episode of ” Cops, bad boys, bad boys”. SO instead I just sat there looking like I was playing an awkward game of freeze tag all by myself.
The more I thought about it, the more I would giggle… trying to distract myself I looked in the rear view mirror. I saw Mr. Policeman start to walk slowly to my car, with a slow confident gate. Then he put his hand over his gun and said something on his radio… I am not sure if I was just scared or still stuck in awkward freeze tag mode… but this roaring nervous giggle came out of my mouth. All I could think of was PAUL BLART off of Mall Cop when he says, ” Place your hand on your hip to APPEAR that you have a weapon.”
Well this was a REAL cop not Paul Blart and his weapon was real… but darn these giggles were getting the best of me.
Mr. Policeman approaches my window (with his hand still on his gun) “Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over, you were speeding. DO you know how fast you were going?”
Me, still in awkward freeze tag mode and trying to not make any sudden movements, smiled and told him that I was going 38-ish… darn 3 miles, and I was sorry for going faster than I should have in a 35 zone.
Mr. Policeman then tells me the 35 turned into a 25 1 block back, so I was going 13 over the speed limit.
I then take my hands off the wheel and say… Oh. Admitting total guilt and ready for him to write me a ticket with his fancy pen.
Then the strangest thing happened…. HE SMILED BACK and said “Yes that is a tricky speed change, thank you for being honest”…. and he let me off with a warning. That is AFTER he checked my license and registration to make sure I was not some crazy coupon thief wanted by the law.
And that my friends is how I got out of a speeding ticket…. I hope it is another 14 years before I make that mistake again!
But the story does not end there …. I roll the window up. My 5 year old Daughter then asks ” Mommy did you get a ticket”
And I jump about 3 feet off my chair and yelped in fear….
I totally forgot she was in the back seat…. #MomFail
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