Ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted to be a mommy. I would play with my baby dolls long into the night, then tuck them into bed with me. Then dream of how fun it would to be a real Mom someday. When I was older and I started looking for “my prince charming”, it was very important that he share the desire to have a family as well.
When I gave birth to my oldest son Matthew, Matt and I were over joyed to start our dream of becoming parents. Little Matthew was cute as could be and everything I dreamed he would be. At the moment life was perfect…. Within hours we found out our tiny perfect son was a very sick little boy. He was literally missing the whole left side of his heart (hypoplastic left heart syndrome to read more click here. ) Our whole life changed in an instant, he was whisked off to another state via life flight for surgery to try save his life.
My perfect little fairy tail dream was shattered, it left me shaking my head wondering how or why this happened to my family. Life over the next three years was constantly in and out of hospitals all over the west. Fourteen heart surgery’s, and months in the hospital trying to get my sweet baby well.
As other moms were dressing their baby’s up to go to the store, I was trying to keep our home “germ free” and away from the outside world. As other children drink a bottle, I was placing NG tubes down my sons nose so he could eat because he was too weak to eat. As other children laughed my son gasped for air, do to the strain on his tiny heart. I watched so many other family’s in the hospital loose their children, at times I wonder if I could really make it through on more day…but I learned to take it one moment at a time.
Yet in my heartache I found joy. I cherished every day with my son, realizing that life is a gift. I loved him more than I had ever loved anything. His smiles melted my heart, the twinkle in his eye gave me the energy to face the next challenge. I celebrated each achievement no matter how small, I learned what is really important to me, and that was my family. Good or bad, I was willing to take it just as long as it allowed me another day with him. Every night as I put my tiny son to bed I would plead with the Lord for one more day, kiss him then kiss him again just in case that was my last chance I had.
Matthew is doing well now, but it is ALWAYS in the back of my mind that each day is a gift, and my prayers are still offered each night asking for anther day. I am far from perfect and having a child with special needs is a bit overwhelming at times, sometimes I forget or loose track of what is really important, But it has given me a whole new way to look at life.
I have learned that life is full of moments good or bad, happy and sad…I call these My Mommy Moments. The first time your baby laughs, or smiles it only lasts a moment, so cherish it. When your kids want to have snuggle time and read a book, do it because it will only last a moment. Just spend time with them, love them and treat each moment like it may be your last. It also gives me the strength to get through the not so happy moments, like when you wake up to a screaming baby and you are beyond exhausted, or when all 4 kids are sick, crying and you still have dinner to cook, bills to pay, a house to clean. Or when they pour a whole gallon of milk on the sofa (yes that really happened to me) …..it is ok because I try to remind myself that is will only last a moment and I can make it!
I am going to make this a weekly feature on my blog, and I hope you take this chance to join in and share your own Mommy Moments. So I invite you so share your Mommy Moments each week, good, bad, silly, sad, uplifting, hilarious….what ever they may be. Write them down, take photos and try to remember each moment is a gift!
Click here to add our Mommy Moments button to your blog or site
Leave a Comment: 11 comments
Filed Under: Mommy Moments
Join our Free Forum
{ 11 comments }
FYI – you might want to look into “Cardiology Camp” for your son in the future. It is just like a regular summer camp for kids except that all of the kids have had cardiology surgeries, so it is staffed by doctors & nurses who know how to watch out for their issues. My son’s friend just came back from it this summer. It was nice for him to be surrounded by all other kids who were dealing with the same things. It was also nice for his parents to feel like he could have a regular type camp experience but not have to worry about if the camp could deal with his health issues. I think their cardiologist told them about it, so you might ask yours if you are ever interested. (I believe it is free.)
Cathy…thanks I think this is great I am just so worried about letting him out of my site. He is eight but in may way more like a 4 year old, maybe in the next year or two he will be ready for that. Thanks again
I read your blog all the time-first time to post, your story made me cry, my little guy is turing one this wkd. He is truly a blessing as I thought I could not have children. It is hard to believe how in 365 days my life has changed so much. Thanks for sharing.
PS most of the stores we don’t have in OK but I still love your blog.
Thank you!!! This is a great idea for us stressed out moms! It is always nice to stop and cherish the great moments that we love instead of letting them just fly right by! Our children do so much these days and trying to keep them off the tv, video games, and computers all day is challenging especially durning the long hot summer. We so need support and ideas from other mothers to keep us going sometimes. And as a mother of 3 I really want to enjoy every minute I have with them b/c they are growing up way to fast!!!!
~I also want to thank for your story you are a wonderful mom w/ a great heart and I love your site it is so full of great savings and great ideas!
Thank you for reminding me how precious life is.
I remember when my now, 6yr old, was 3 and decided to “unpeel” the paint off the walls of a rented house. We had to repaint the walls, yes WALLS with an S. I was mad but then we had a scare my sons heart was not beating wright. Throught the many test and doctor visits I too prayed for just one more day please. Turned out that all is well with my son and we just have to monitor him closly. But now when he decides to clime into the washer with the dog I do not get mad now. I run for the camera because I never want to forget the joy he has brought me. Thank you Sara for sharing these momments with us. Much Love, Jennifer
The story about the gallon of milk, reminded me of my son. We were trying to get pregnant with our second child and we were having problems. I walked into my OB/Gyn’s office and told him I wasn’t sure why I wanted a second child! The week before he had broken a dozen eggs on the couch, a couple of days later it was a dozen eggs broken on the couch. Just the morning of my appointment, he got the bottle of chocolate syrup and dribbled it into the living room and all over the couch! I think he wanted chocolate pudding rather than the little sister who finally got here 3 years later!!
Thank you soooo much for post this. We DO tend to forget that every minute counts. We are constant making memories. You just never know what life is going to bring you. They are just little people trying to figure out what this whole world is about. One of things I try to remember when getting to interact with my children is….”what are going to say about me when they get older? What are they going to say about what it was like for them growing up?” I want them to have AWESOME/GREAT memories.
Thank you so very much for sharing your story. It is actually very inspiring. I know it made me stop and think! THANKS!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I too have one very much like yours and mine just turned 5 on Friday:) Someone asked me the other day when I was going to stop thinking/talking about the day and the days following his birth (I do get very emotional around his birthday) I said ” NEVER! It’s a part of who we are and the bond we share!” I thank the lord everday for the gift he has given us!
Thanks for sharing your story with me, I find it very moving to be sure. The investment we make in our health and sanity to carry a child into the world is considerable, and the burden of raising them is not something that can be understood by those who have help to do the hard stuff for them. Thank goodness they are so beautiful and giving or it would be even more challenging than it already is!
I wish you the best and continued strength on your journey.
~Chris
Thank you so much for posting this! I am a stay at home of 3 boys, they are the joy of my life but they are boys. All three home this summer has really been a new challenge for me. Last week I was feeling really down and realized I am just burnt out…it happens to us moms! I know how quick they grow up, how fast those times that you should cherish fly away but hearing your words from your story just keeps me reminded of soaking in those momments (like now finding the patience to help my 3 year figure out how to use kiddie scissors…wow that takes a long time but his excitment at the end that he “did it” is what matters). So thank you for making me realize I need to stop take a breather and just enjoy the time. Your little boy is lucky he had the amazing support system from you and your husband to beat those odds.
Oh yeah, your site is great! Thanks for all the saving tips…please know it is greatly appreciated!
Comments on this entry are closed.