19 years ago

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(My baby sister Amelia 9 months old, Sarah age 10)

On July 10 1990, I was only 10 years old and I was facing one of the biggest days of my life.  I was going in for major head surgery, where my scalp would be totally pulled away from my skull, ear to ear and down to my neck.  Half my skull would be taken off, and major repairs would be done to my head. The details are not important, but it was major surgery and it was very scary for my parents to have me be so sick.

Surgery went well, but recovery had major complications, my brain swelled I lost the ability to walk, speak, or control my body.  As sick as I was, I had been taught by my parents that with faith in the Lord all things are possible.  My little 10 year old  spirit, had unwavering faith that my Heavenly Father could heal me.  Sure enough I was healed and with time I was able to go home.

I was only 48 lbs, tiny and bald.  As a little girl I had always loved my long dark brown hair, it was what made me pretty ( or at least I thought).  I had to figure out how to face the world as a bald little girl.  Even as a child it was very clear to me the concern and worry on peoples faces when they saw me.  The kids at school were very curious as to where all my hair had gone.  We all have moments or events in our lives that change us, or shape the person we are today.  This was a life changing experience for me, I made the choice to smile and make people laugh.  I knew  they would be curious and looking at me, so I might was well make them smile too.

Out of that tiny 10 year old came the courage to face the world, I put on a brave face.  Some days ended with my head held high, self confidant and ready for what ever new challenge came my way.  Other days ended crying on my Mommy’s lap, wishing I could be “normal” and letting others harsh words eat away at me.  The  thing is that little 10 year old girl is still inside of me,  If only I had the faith and courage I had back then. I enjoy facing most days with a smile and love making others laugh.  But some days when life challenges seem a little more than I can handle, I see a glimpse of that tiny 48 lb  girl who just wishes  all life’s challenges would go away.  But I have learned that some of the hardest things we do make us strong, and shape us into the person we are today.  I am grateful for what they have taught me!

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