6 ways to answer your child without saying “No”
It’s Katie! For some reason when my kids ask me something and the answer is no they feel like that maybe that answer isn’t really what I meant to say so they continue to ask and ask and ask and ask… Exhausting. But a lot of the times when I don’t say the word “no” and choose a different response they will accept it and our home is a much more peaceful place without all the arguing and whining.
Here are 6 ways to answer your child without saying “no”
1. Start the conversation with a “Yes”
A long time ago I read somewhere that our kids get told no all. the. time. so I needed to start telling them yes more.For example, when a no comes a long they know it means something. This doesn’t mean they get their way more or I give in. When they approach me and say “Mom!” I don’t respond with “What?” I respond with “Yes?”. So before they’ve even asked me they received at least one yes.
2. Tell them you need to think about it.
This one works really well with my oldest child. My kid had a bad day at school and wanted to transfer schools for next year (she’s in middle school). It was a long conversation drawn out conversation and suffice it to say she was not satisfied when I simply said no. So I told her to think about it and I would as well. Well given some time and space she realized that what I was saying was probably true and she came around to understanding my point of view. With my younger kids if I say I need to think about it, they will either forget or it’s a “did you think about it?” over and over.
3. Answer their question with a question
“Mom, can I have more candy?” “Child’s name, can I have a million dollars?”
When they keep pestering you about more t.v. time or wanting some candy distract them. Tell them you want to show them the plants you planted in the garden that day or show them some books you got from the library. Ask them to brush the dog or play with the cat. Give them something else to focus on.
5. If Dad is home tell them to go ask their Father
Sometimes my tactics just are not working and I can’t catch a break. If their dad is home I tell them to go ask him and then I shout and say “I already told them no!”. They know their dad is on my side so asking him will be futile, lol.
6. Give them your reasons
Kids aren’t completely unreasonable monsters, most of the time. If what they want is really not going to happen tell them why. A “Because I said so” doesn’t really constitute itself as a reason, even though the phrase has left my mouth many times, lol. But if they ask for snacks or candy and it’s 5:00 I tell them they can’t have it because it’s almost dinner. And then sometimes I tell them if they eat all of their dinner and are still hungry they can have it later.
One we question we have all them time right now is “Can we play in the water?”. We’ve had some really warm days and the answer is yes but sometimes it’s in the 60’s and breezy and as soon as they’d get wet they would turn into popsicles. I tell them it has to be at least ___ degrees out, so then they check the weather and make plans 😉