So at work over the weekend I was reading in about 8 different news articles all popular national sources and also two from over seas, on marriage. Call me old fashioned, but the view on what marriage means is changing rapidly in today’s society. For me it is a bit disheartening to see such a change in the bond of marriage. Sarah and I were married in 2000 – Yes an easy year to remember 😉 . We meet a few years earlier in a car dealership we both worked at. If you have ever been or heard our coupon class you would of heard her describe me as a cocky car salesman, tan and tall with cowboy boots and jeans. All true being that I just got off a cruise in the Caribbean with my brother, and kind of cocky because I was a national leader in sales in a different field. But car sales was all new to me and you have to act like you know what you are doing.
Well we ended up going to the same church and had numerous single adult activities together. She seemed to get so mad at me when I would go out with other girls. So after knowing her for a year, one time I asked her to go out. I even forget what it was even for. She said no! Well it was more like “supposedly she had other plans”. So at the time I had a three strikes you’re out program for dating. I would give a girl three chances and if things didn’t work out – well then she was out. So date number two came around – and conventiely there was supposedly something else going on then too! And so in late February of 2000 there was a musical from one of the colleges of our church that was in the area. I asked her the final third time to see if she would go on a date with me. It wasn’t that we weren’t friends, we hung out at church and talked a lot at the dealership. We saw each other practically 7 days a week. Since we worked together, had church together and attended the same single adult church actives through out the week together with other friends in our group. So when I asked her, as I remember clearly she instantly said No. I remember to this day almost 11 years later. We both were standing out side of the main sales office up front at the dealership. She said no, and I said “well I guess that’s three strikes your out”. She looked rather shocked. And asked what that meant. I told her about my three strikes your out program and she said that she didn’t mean “no”, it was more of she had to check her calender. And so I said ” Well then its 2 and half strikes then”. Later on she agreed to go the the musical/play on March 6th 2000. It was a little awkward being together on the date. We didn’t hold hands or anything like that but we did end up shaking hands at the end of the date when I dropped her off at her parents home. Standing out front of her parents front door, at that awkward moment I simply extended my hand to shake hers good night. I noticed when I did that her head cocked sideways like a little puppy trying to hear if it’s name was called. I kind of chuckled inside and said good night.
At that moment we both knew we would be together for ever. After that night I called and set up our next date. And from then on out we literally never missed a day together. It would be another year and half before we ever missed being together a single day. Once our son Matthew was born and we had to go to out of state hospitals was the first days of not seeing each other and the first nights alone in separate beds after being married.
Our dating was such a whirlwind. We both knew that first full date that we would be together for ever. And we spent just about every wake hour together. We still attended the same single adult activities, and still saw each other at work everyday. But come bedtime, I would drive the 30 mins back home to my house and left her there at her parents. At that time in my life I had already purchased a small house in the same town we still live in. It would of been easy to choose to have her with me, or to allow the rush of a new love lead us into circumstances that we wanted to protect and keep sacred till marriage. In today’s world the rush to “test the waters” as some say is all to frequent jump many take. Before the 70’s it was a social no-no. After the 70’s with the craziness of the hippy movement and “free love” or “love one another” hit the closeness of personal relations changed. And has continued to change and become ever so prominent in society in the 2000-teens…
Why is that? Why is it the almost every day in the news there is an actor who says that “marriage is on the way out”? Why is it that the 2010 census shows more then half of couples are no longer married but just living together? Why is it that society has changed? One report sites it is due to the economy. I always thought you got tax breaks for “married filing jointly”.
Maybe I am just old fashion. Maybe it shows I am an old folgie. I don’t know. I am glad that we dated the way we did. I think that my relationship is stronger knowing that our love was able to with stand the physical desires and build an emotional bond that can with stand the cravings of love. Why is it that many feel they need to “test the waters”? What if anatomy was a slightly different layout then earlier would it change the internal, emotional, and more perfect feelings that one has towards the other. Or is it an excuse to go against the norm and what others have always said. Maybe in time then then the social norm will revert retro and become old fashion again.