7 Days of Valentines~7 ways to make this year extra special (Day 6)

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Love is in the air, and it has arrived at A Thrifty Mom Site!  Are you ready for 7 days of lovin’?  Alison, our Falling in Love with your Family contributor, is sharing 7 days of romance, skill-building, and fun to get you ready for Valentine’s Day and give your marriage a boost.  You can work on the challenges together, or you can try it out without letting your spouse know it’s anything but a burst of love from you.  If you accept the 7-day challenge and leave a comment about how it went on February 15, you’ll be entered into a drawing for a $25 movie card.  Are you ready for 7 Days of Valentines?

7 days of Valentines

By Alison

Day 1: Pucker up, Buttercup!

Day 2: Leave a Love Note

Day 3: Plan Your Valentines Day Date

Day 4: Don’t Miss the Gorilla (?!)

Day 5: Call me Maybe…

Day 6: Remember!

One of the most powerful forces for good in a marriage is our memories.  When things aren’t going well, sometimes remembering why we fell in love, what we admired about our spouse, and how we’ve made it through hard times before can help us work through current troubles.  Dr. John Gottman advises couples to increase their admiration for each other by often revisiting those happy memories.    The task for today is to talk together about some of the happy times you’ve shared.  If you are doing the challenges alone, write them down in your journal, or share part of the story with your kids. Here are a few of his questions:

1. Discuss how the two of you met and got together. Was there anything about your partner that made them stand out? What were your first impressions of each other?

2. What do you remember most about your first date and the period of your new relationship? What stands out? What were some of the highlights? What types of things did you do together?

3. Talk about how you decided to get married. Who proposed and in what manner?

4. How well do you remember your wedding? Talk to each other about your memories. Did you have a honeymoon? What was your favorite part of the wedding or honeymoon?

5. Looking back over the years, what moments stand out as the happiest period in your relationship? When was a good time for you as a couple?

(Condensed from the original from Dr. John M. Gottman.)

Think about the first time you saw your spouse while you fold the laundry.  Dwell on those first exciting kisses while you do the dishes.  Bring up some old memories while you’re driving in the car.  Tell a funny story from the past at dinner.  Tuck your children in to bed with the most wonderful love story of all…yours.  And notice how those memories perk up the past, revitalize the present, and help you remember there are oh-so-good days ahead.

11 COMMENTS

  1. i have tried this w/ ex boyfriend b4 we broke up, but never seemed to work. also my parents had a very bad marriage, should have gotten divorced. when they were w/ old friends and remembered the good times they got along for awhile again.

  2. we ran into one another at our high school reunion, he was scared to see me for good reasons, unfortunately, i reminded him of the bad things he did to me and wanted to know why since he had asked me to marry him.

  3. This was fun to do at dinner last night! We talked about all our favorite memories and what we want to do in the future. Great idea!

  4. Thank you for the wonderful ideas!  We have been married almost 15 years and we’ve been in a bit of a rut lately….it was nice to have some tips to  help us a bit!

  5. We haven’t been married very long, only 3 years, but it was nice to remind one another about little details! We talked about how we need to celebrate our anniversary. We have never celebrated before. Maybe just a little weekend getaway.

  6. this was a wonderful exercise of the mind. I always tell my wife she doesn’t remember a lot of our past so it was great to her that she does in fact.

  7. I remember the 8inches of snow the night before my wedding and the snowball fight  the wedding party and my husband and I had.  Some fun pics!

  8. Thank you for all the tips…it is good to be reminded to slow down and remember the good times!

  9. Love thinking about the good old days. Thanks for all the tips, they have made a big difference.

  10. These last few days have been so simple and sweet. I love my hubby every day and cherish him every day, but yes I to have been caught up in the day to day to realize that just because I do love him, have I really shown it? Thank you @A Thrifty Mom for reminding me to recognize what has been missing and some great ideas to remind me to remind him of how truly loved he is and how blessed I am to have him part of my life. He is my soul-mate and the greatest Dad I could ever imagine. :))

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